The RER B Train pulling into Saint-Michel

The RER B "Flowchart" sign in Saint-Michel

Ok. You're on the RER B, and you have made the wise choice of taking the express to CDG. You sit back and think about your flight home. You look out the window and watch the industrial landscape pass by, which is decorated by lots of colorful graffiti. But you need to be aware of another thing. There are two stops at CDG on RER B- the first stop serves terminals 1–9, with the exception of terminal 2. The last stop serves terminal 2. And you must remember that there is terminal 2A, 2B, 2C, etc. Fortunately we know that American Airlines is in terminal 2A – at least at the time of this writing in spring of 2006. Ok, we know that we want to get to terminal 2A. We also know that the 2 nd CDG stop on RER B serves terminal 2 in general, i.e. 2A – 2x. So, we get off the train at the second stop, which is named CDG2 – TGV. It is impossible to miss it, unless you fall asleep, because it's the end of the line. We get off the train and we are faced with stairs and escalators going up. Take the escalator – it's easier if you have luggage. Follow the signs that say terminal 2A. You will go up a few floors. You will finally find yourself outside, at a bus stop. No, this is not a joke. This is CDG. The bus you want is line 3. Not line 1, not anything else. The bus will say ADP – aéroport de paris . It will have a number in the front window. Do not get on any bus unless the number in the window is 3. This bus goes to Terminal 2A, where AA is located. Several buses may pass. If they have a number one, do not get on them. Do not get on any hotel buses. Hold out for ADP, line 3. Do not, I repeat, do not violate this rule.

Ok, you see bus #3 coming. You may have noticed that all the buses that stop at this bus stop have the entrance doors on the opposite side from where you are standing. Here is a tip to beat the crowd and get a good seat on the bus. When bus three is in sight, cross over to the other side of the street. Then when the bus pulls up, you will be on the side by the doors. You can hop on the bus, stow your luggage, and settle into a comfy seat before all the other passengers have figured out what to do. If you are not quick enough to make this move, at least cross in front of the bus and get on. This is your ticket to AA.

Finally, you're on the bus. It's going to Terminal 2A. Everything is cool, right? Wrong. You are not there yet, not by half. The bus will stop at 2A and you will get off. Now you must remember this fact. American Airlines is at entrance 8. Look at the big 8 over the door when you walk in. Then look at the row of check-in counters across from this door. Find the one that says American Airlines. You may have to get up close to see the signs. Then, go and ask where the line is for American Airlines. There may be another huge line, right when you walk in, and you may be tempted to get in that line, but it might not be for American. Ask. Make sure. Don't ask just anyone. Ask someone that has a uniform on, preferably a uniform that says American Airlines. Sometimes there is a big line for another airline that hides the line for AA. I can't be too clear on this point: make sure you are in the line for AA! There are many lines at CDG. Some of them go nowhere! Make sure you are going to AA.

Ok. You have made it to the right terminal. You have verified that you are in the line for AA. You will soon check in your luggage and get a boarding pass. The person behind the counter will give you a boarding pass and tell you what gate to go to. You will pass through security, and hopefully you will pass muster. You will get on the plane, and it may even take off on time. All I can say at this point is bon voyage . But you have cracked the AA-CDG code and made it. Buy yourself a drink on the plane, and pat yourself on the back. Better travelers than you have buckled under the stress, and missed their flight.

But I am just arriving in Paris , you say. How can I take the wonderful RER into Paris ? I don't want to spend money for a cab. I want to take the train, dammit! Ok. Part two of this essay explains how to get from AA to Paris after getting off at CDG. First, collect your luggage. This may take some time. Be cool, don't panic. Sure you've been on a plane for more that 8 hours and you have been up for 24, and you just want to go to bed, but you need to keep your wits about you. Here's what you do. Go to exit 8. Not exit 7, not exit 9. Exit 8, right across from the AA departure counter. Step outside. You will see a little sign that says bus line 3. Wait here for this bus. Do not take bus 1. Wait for bus 3. It will come, believe me. When you do see bus 3, get on. Hoist your luggage up onto the bus and stow it in the racks provided. Then take the bus to the stop that says Gare/TGV. It comes up quickly, so keep your eyes open. Also, there are sometimes a lot of cars parked along the sides so that the bus can't get close to the stop, so make sure you look out the window at each stop and look for the sign.

Once you reach the stop that says Gare, get off. You will go down the stairs, into a terminal. The entrance doesn't look like much, just some stairs going down, but believe me it leads to the train. Follow the signs that say RER B. As I explained earlier, CDG is in zone 5. Buy a one-way ticket to Paris , or a round-trip if you will come back the same way. If, in addition, you want to buy a regular métro pass, you can do that also. If you are staying in Paris and don't have plans to make a lot of trips to the outlying suburbs, then a zone 1 – 2 pass should be fine. By the way, don't throw your CDG to Paris ticket out until you are out of the train system completely. The RER requires that you insert your ticket in the turnstyle machine when entering and leaving. In addition, there are cops on the train from time to time who are looking for scofflaws that jump over the turnstyle and don't pay. If you don't have a ticket (because you threw it away) you are a scofflaw and you will have to pay a fine. Ignorance of the law is no excuse. That said, catch a train that goes to Gare du Nord. Do not take a train that has stops before Gare du Nord. You can get off the train at Gare du Nord, Chatelet, or Saint-Michel in central Paris . Consult your metro map to see which stop will feed into the metro line that will take you to your hotel.

Ok, folks, that's how you do it. Remember – Americian Airlines is in terminal 2A. It is is directly behind door 8. Don't get in any lines unless you know where they are going. Don't ask for directions or help from someone who is not wearing an airline uniform. Don't take an RER local, take only a direct line to/from CDG to Gare du Nord. CDG is a big, chaotic, confusing place. Most people speak French. Some may speak English. Others speak none of the above. Take your time. Don't panic. Make sure what you are doing and where you are going. Ok? And like the guy on "Hill Street Blues" (an ancient American television show that you may have seen) used to say: “let's be careful out there.”